Soulful Sunday

these things have been on my mind........

faith

courage

compassion

love

yes these things have been on my mind....

Soulful Sunday............

light through the dark



I am willing

to love and to be loved

I am willing

to heal and to be healed

I am willing

to forgive and to be forgiven

I am willing

to trust and to be trusted

I am willing

to see and to be seen

I am willing

to hear and to be heard

I am willing

to give and to be given

I am willing

Songs for your Saturday

So confession time:  I am a GLEEK... love GLEE and dancing and singing in general as a rule!

Here are some Glee songs for your Saturday..

Namaste friends
Karen

Self Portrait Jan 20, 2011 SAD

not many words today

this picture tells the story

of a heart slowly breaking

yet still willing to hold on to hope

Namaste

Karen

Stuck: Trying to find my balance

I have lost my center, my balance.  My mind, spirit and body have been off balance for such an extended time that I finally realize I need to take some time to find my center again.

I don't know what that entails but I am working that out, the end of 2010 beginning of 2011 has brought this loss of balance to the forefront.  I have been so overwhelmed by emotional breakthroughs, health issues and lack of faith and trust that I feel a bit lost.  The blogosphere has been at times a blessing due to the connections to like minded souls and the true community feeling I have found here yet on the flip side there is a feeling of overwhelm in  information,  feelings of inadequacy, competition, comparison, and the critical voice.

I have been frozen in creative inertia and lack of general purpose, just stuck overall in my life.  I am going to be gentle with myself at this time.  I will be posting  pics as I take them and sharing some links around here for awhile until I get my feet back under me.

Today I am enjoying the sketches and thoughts on fear and hope over at Kristin Noelle's place and this is my choice for Lisa's (dandelion seeds and dreams) Monday Inspiration today.

I am sending you all love and best wishes for today and all your tomorrows.

Namaste,
Karen

Tuesday's Tunes

I was reminded of this song while watching the show "Parenthood" tonight, and I remembered how much I love it.

This is a great version and the lyrics scroll on the screen as the song is playing..  my favorite lines in the song:
"May you always do for others and let others do for you"
"May your heart always be joyful and May your song always be sung"

Enjoy and be well..

Today's Thoughts:Some tender parts of my story

I have been hearing many people talk about being authentic, standing in your truth and being vulnerable and it has left me wondering do people really want to hear my truth or will they judge it or me?  I wonder if my post is not upbeat or informational or inspiration and creative will anyone want to read it or should I really even care if anyone wants to read it?

2011 has started off a bit rockier than I hoped it would but I am trying to roll with it and go with the flow.  I really can't imagine why I thought when the clock struck 12:01 January 1,2011 that everything would magically change for the better, it's all the New Year's hype, I bought into it.  The only thing  I can do is state my intentions and start living my truth.  And part of that truth is that I don't know my whole story, I am in the process of unravelling and learning it day by day.


Here is some of my story:

I grew up in a family filled with anxiety and depression, a father in a job that was at times dangerous to himself and to us and a Mother who was not treated right and did not quite know how to nurture and show her love.  My parents both did the best they could  and I love them both dearly, but there are some truths there that I can't hide from anymore.

I married a man who does not know how to fully commit himself in a relationship so I wake everyday wondering where I stand and will this be the day he decides to leave.  He has been unsure of his feelings for the last 5 years of our marriage of 17 years, though he added he has been feeling this way for much longer.  and I wait....................for him to love me or love me not.

I have problems with intimacy due to some past traumas in my life parts of which still remain unknown to me.  What I do know is that those experiences have left me with a lack of faith and trust that I am struggling to regain.

I know the path to healing for me will lay in the creative arts, I have touched on it from time to time yet I still don't fully immerse in it because part of me is afraid to heal, what would life look like then, who will I become?

I know that I only have to look within to find the love and acceptance I long for YET I continue to look for it externally and that only leads to disappointment.

I have just shared some of my story with you, will you share some of yours with me?  Feel free to leave comments, because the one TRUTH I am SURE of is that we are not alone, we are more connected than we know and all our stories matter..

My intention for 2011 is to love and accept myself for who I am and to embrace and share my story as it unfolds.

Namaste and thanks for listening,

Karen

Self Portrait Jan 10, 2011 letting humour diffuse a bad mood

Hi friends.

Did you ever have one of those days when you just felt like ranting and pulling your hair out, well that was my day today.  I decided to diffuse this mood with some self portrait humour, and it really helped. (thanks for the reminder Liz that sometimes you just have to laugh at yourself.)

So today over at Lis' Dandelion Seeds and Dreams it is Inspirational Monday, and I am being inspired by laughing today and how it can instantly diffuse a bad mood!

I am just going to have to let go and let my pace be what it is, things will get done or not and if they don't it won't be the end of the world.  I am starting to realize there is only so much you can do before you just start shutting down.

May you be enjoying your day wherever you may be.

Namaste,

KAren

Self Portrait January 9th.. the mood around here

As I am sure many of you can relate to I have had a love/hate relationship with my hair for as long as I can remember.  It seems like the only days I like my hair are the days that I am going for a hair cut, funny huh!

I have been feeling a wee bit overwhelmed here and I needed to laugh so I started  playing with my video camera and trying different hairstyles out..I call this one the modified Cousin It.

Today I am trying to organize my life all in one short day and as you can see I am distracting myself with the internet.. oh well, in the immortal words of Scarlett O'Hara, "I can't think about that right now. If I do, I'll go crazy. I'll think about that tomorrow"!"

Enjoy your day and may you take some time to laugh today!

Namaste,
Karen

Self Portrait Jan. 7, 2011 - Snowy Day

Today's self portrait was fun, cold and wet!  I must say it's darn hard looking up into snow that is falling down.  The big fat wet flakes were coming at a steady pace at this point.

Have a wonderful day wherever you may be.

Namaste,

Karen

Self Portrait Jan 6, 2011: Mirror Board

I am joining the brave ranks of  Hippy Urban Girl, Vivienne McMaster, Liz Lamoreux, Susannah Conway, Bella and Lisa Hoffman  and taking on my own self-portrait challenge.  My intention is by taking these self portraits I will be connecting to the moment I am in as well as becoming more comfortable in my own skin.

Today I took my reflection in mirror board paper which I will be using to complete my Sketchbook Project book which is only due in a week, hey there's nothing like waiting until the last minute to get the blood flowing!

Happy Thursday to all,

Namaste,
Karen

Word for 2011 and Wishcast Wednesday

Hi my fellow wishers and dreamers. Today over at Jamie Ridler Studios the wish prompt is: "What do you wish to say YES to?"

I was so determined to start 2011 with a calm and focused mind but alas that is not what is happening. I am overwhelmed with thoughts on what I would like to accomplish for the New Year and work picking back up at the same time. (I work at an accounting office)

While reading others blogs, tweets, facebook posts on their intentions for the New Year, their wrap up of 2010 and their words for 2011 I have become overloaded with information, thoughts, ecourses that are starting up, projects I want to start or finish, etc. This has left me with the feeling that I have not had a chance to stop and catch my breath between this year and last.

Everything seems to travel at the speed of light out here in the blogosphere, if you miss a day or heck an hour or two you are already out of the loop. I wonder do others work full time jobs and if so how do they manage their work, online time and family/household time, this leads me to this weeks wish prompt.

What I would like to say YES to is my word for 2011, which is EMBRACE, this word found me as It was not even one of my top choices, I kept seeing it everywhere and it just started to resonate with me in a way that no other words had.

Definition of EMBRACE From Merriam webster
transitive verb
1a : to clasp in the arms : hug b : cherish, love
2: encircle, enclose
3a : to take up especially readily or gladly b : to avail oneself of : welcome
4a : to take in or include as a part, item, or element of a more inclusive whole

For 2011 I would like to EMBRACE the following:

* My own pace, be it slow or fast on any given day, I won't always be able to keep up with the group and that is ok!
* My own schedule, I am an organizing geek and this is at odds with my creative side at times but I work much better with some sort of rhythm (thanks for that clarification Joy!) to my day.
* My imperfections, they are what make me unique.
* My desire to create, to heal, to love.
* Nourishing my mind/body/soul with the things that will bring joy and peace.
* My loved ones just as they are, this goes for self also.
* My Community both online and offline.
* Change, I spend alot of time resisiting change, instead I would like to Embrace it.
* Chaos, sometimes all you can do when there is chaos in your life is to Embace it.

Above are some examples of what I would like to EMBRACE this year but the biggest thing I would like to EMBRACE is the unknown. I get caught up in the need to KNOW everything so instead I would like to EMBRACE the mystery of life, living each moment just as it is.

The Picture above was one I took while shooting into the sun, the resulting sunflare produced a red figure like object EMBRACING the sun.

As you wish for yourself, so I wish for you also.

Namaste,
Karen