Today is also my Dad's birthday, he has been gone for 6 years now, it is so hard to believe it has been that long.
He died of esophageal cancer, which was hard watching him go through, especially being so involved with the caretaking.
He was a man who loved his food and near the end he could not really eat much, but we made him yummy shakes. He was very strong right to the end.
My family had a period of time for about 5 years where 4 members (Dad, Father in law and 2 Aunts) were suffering from cancer back to back and eventually passing away. I was involved very closely with 3 of them and was actually there at the time of death with my Aunt and Father in Law. It was like I was on autopilot, I can't really remember much of it, you are kind of in a time outside of regular time. I have to say I did not have any warm and fuzzy experiences at the time of death, it was a little scary to see someone actually die.
Anyway I am sorry to go on and on about this but It just came up for me. I think with each illness/death a little piece of me died and I feel numb sometimes.
I went to visit my Dad's grave today and left a little bundle of marigolds/lavendar/rosemary and one of his favorite candies, Reese Peanut Butter Cups.
I miss you Dad, we had our differences and there are some things I may never know about you but I know you loved me and that meant the world to me. Love you.
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