Wishcast Wednesday and 52 Photo Project



Bella trying to find the perfect spot in the sun

 Hi my fellow wishers and dreamers.  Today is Wednesday and over at Jamie Ridlers Studios we are sharing our wishes and at Bella's place we are sharing our pictures over at 52 Photo Project.

Today's prompts are:  What do you wish to take a stand for and "found it on the ground".

Well what I wish to take a stand for is pretty easy, myself!  I worry so much about what I say and do and how it will affect others in my life that I lose sense of what I want and what's important to me.

I am going to give you a pretty painful example.  There is this woman who is very close friends with my husband.  She also happens to be my husband's best friends wife.  This woman and my husband were room mates (strictly platonic) when I first met my husband so I know there was a bond formed then.  When I became engaged she actually had the balls to say to me that it was a good thing she liked me or my husband would not be marrying me.  I should have known then she was setting the tone for what she felt was her place in my husband's life. 

Over the years (17 now) we moved to the same town as them, became god parents to one of their children and so on.  I think one of my main concerns is she relies on my husband for too many things, especially when her husband isn't around or not emotionally capable.  This has been a big problem for me and don't get me wrong my husband made himself available, he was not blameless.  It got to the point over the last few years that my husband and she would talk on the phone almost every day and the texting was out of control.  I ALWAYS felt like I was in competion with her for my husband's attention.  When my husband starting going through his doubts about our relationship he confided in her and commiserated with her regarding her problems also, which I feel can be a dangerous boundary line to cross between married people.   I always felt I could not make waves because I was actually fearful my husband would choose them (his best friend and wife) over me and really how sad is that.  Basically I kept myself in this situation because of fear.

Over last summer there was a big blowup when I overheard my husband telling this woman that he felt like they should back off because his feelings for her were starting to feel more than friendly, well of course when you confide and commiserate with someone this is something that could happen.  She then said she wished that she felt the same way because then her life would be easier.  I was like WTF; my husband did not mean he would run off with her, he just felt like his feelings were getting mixed up.  Needless to say I freaked out and really told my husband I could not deal with this anymore.  I was giving this woman way too much power over me, yes I was, she was just being who she is.  Anyway she would take on no ownership of this issue, just acted like it was all on my husband.  I tried to tell her how I felt about the lack of  boundaries she had with my husband but she wouldn't hear any of it.  And then to top it off I found out she was saying nasty things about me to other people, when all  I had ever been was nice to her.  I shouldn't be surprised really she is one of those people that always talks about others.

So now I am in a place of distancing myself from her, really who needs friends like that.  My husband is still very close to his friend and still talks to her somewhat but I told him I feel like It is time for me to stand up for myself and not be around someone who really doesn't respect my feelings.  I am not worried anymore that my husband will leave, we have decided to work on our marriage and he has already talked about what happened and what led him to that and he was honest with me about his mixed up feelings.  So the bottom line is if he does leave me over my distancing myself from this woman then I figure I am better off without him! 

I would ultimatlely love to help others stand up for themselves, to not let fear keep them in bad situations and  in order to do that I have to walk that walk myself, which led me to this answer for today's wish. 

The photo prompt was found on the ground which was really interesting to me since lately I have been looking up at trees and the sky for my pictures. The first thing I noticed when I looked down was my puppy and her shadow as she basked in the late afternoon sun spot, now it is not techically ground as in outside, but it was the ground under my feet while I looked down in that moment ;-)

I want to truly thank you for listening to this part of my story today, it felt good to share it here with you in this wishing and creative space.  In a way the picture I chose for the photo project goes with the wish as this puppy has really been a balm to my soul these last few years, always there with her unconditional love.

As you wish for yourself, I am also wishing for you.

May this day find you and yours well.

Namaste,
Karen