Wishcast Wednesday: Where do you wish to make a fresh start?

Image: Google Images

Hi my fellow wishers and dreamers. Today over at Jamie Ridler's Studios the wish prompt is: Where do you wish to make a fresh start?

Well this might sound a bit odd but I wish to make a fresh start with my life in general. Growing up I did not have such a secure emotional base, never developing a strong sense of self, taking care of other's emotional needs while mine were not met.

I was a very reactionary child due to some circumstances we had to deal with. Now as an adult I still feel like I am always waiting for something to happen to react to, you know the "waiting for the other shoe to drop" mentality. Feeling slightly anxious and fearful often and not trusting that things will be ok.

I am starting fresh with myself, giving myself now what I did not get then, it is up to me now.

It is funny during this time my relationship with others has changed drastically as I try to sort out where they start and I begin, creating those necessary boundaries, their needs are not always coming first now.

I have been very drawn to the creative arts especially in collage, poetry and photography, looking for like minded souls to be in community with. I believe these will help me tell my story and re-discover who I am, the me down past the Bulls*** others have filled me with. With a stronger more secure base I feel like then I can help others as well as myself.

So my fellow wishers where are you wishing to make a fresh start?
Thanks again Jamie for such a wonderful wish prompt.

Namaste,
Karen

August Break - Aug 13th-16th

Hi August Breakers. I am participating in the August Break over at Susannah Conway's digs.

Above are some photos of my last few days. Some sky, some rain, some stylish safety and some fire.

Enjoy your night.

Aug Break the 11th and the 12th

Hi! Still hanging with Susannah Conway and crew over at August Break.

August 11th: Watching - So You Think You Can Dance. Hit freeze frame on TV and took a pic of my favorite dancer.

August 12th: Finally - some much needed rain on my mint plants.

Have a great night one and all,
KAren

Wishcast Wed: Where do you wish to send some love?

HUG: by Klimt

Hi my fellow wishers and dreamers. Over at Jamie Ridler's Studio the wish prompt today is: "Where do you wish to send some love"

WOW this is a big one and it touches me deeply.

I wish to send some love to all those children out there (including my inner child) that may not have received the healthy nuturing love from their parents that should be a right for all children. To have someone hold you, love you, notice you and attend to your needs when you are a child, especially a baby is so big yet not everyone gets it and not everyone is able to give it.

I think in most situations people do the best they can do given their circumstances unfortunately that may not always be enough and many are left trying to parent themselves when they get older.

I am currently trying to nurture myself and to believe that I am lovable and that I do mean something to the people in my life, it is so hard when you don't get that strong base as a child or the relationship is where the child is taking care of the parents emotional needs, the child's self worth and esteem can get lost in the shuffle.

Anyway I would love to wrap my arms around all those children like someone did for me along the way and tell them it is alright, they ARE loved, they are WORTHY and they MEAN a great deal.

Sending you all virtual hugs today, may you spread the hug to someone in your life and know you are important, worthy and loved.

Namaste to you all,

Karen

August Break: A visit with family at the beach

Hi Everyone. I hope everyone is enjoying the summer days of August.
We were just away visiting with family at the beach and here are some August Break pics from our weekend.

August Break: August 6th

Hi All...
Day 6 of the August Break with Susannah Conway is here and today my pic is of the summer sky. I am at the beach this weekend and this is the sky today.. blue skies and puffy white clouds.

August Break: Aug 5th

DAY 5 of August Break over at Susannah Conway's.

Today I received my Squam Artworkshop Journal. I am attending Squam in the fall and they have put out a book filled with yummy goodness. Check it out here: Squam Journal.

Here is my journal hanging out in the garden.

August Break Aug 4th

Hi~

This my August Break pic for Aug 4th... This pup greets me everyday when I get home.. this is my Bella waiting patiently (not!) for me to take her out!



Namaste,

Karen

Wishcast Wed: What do you wish for your creativitiy?

Hi my fellow wishers and dreamers, today over at Jamie Ridler's Studio the wish prompt is: "What do you wish for your creativity?"

What I wish for my creativity is that I allow it more fully into my life. I tip toe around it a bit, dipping a brush into paint for a moment here and there, gluing some pictures down for a collage, quickly writing some words, briefly allowing the flow to take me. But.. then I stop when the critic mind sneaks up on me with those doubts and judgements. Who I am to think I am a creative person, I'll never be as good as this one or that one.

I am slowly beginning to see I don't HAVE to be as good as anyone else, I just have to follow my own path and listen to my own creative voice. The more I turn up the volume on that voice, the harder it will become to hear the critics voice, of that I am sure.

The times I have really sunk into the creative process and trusted that space are the times I am most myself. I forget myself and who I am when I don't allow time for creating.

They say it takes 30 days to make or break a habit so I am participating in Susannah Conway's August Break with the hopes that at the end of it I will have a new creative habit in place, one I can expand on. There are no rules for August Break you take one photo a day and post it on your blog with or without words, even I can commit to a moment a day. You can read about it here: "August Break".

The picture above is a page I recently created in a small canvas art journal round robin.

So my fellow wishers what are you wishing for your creativity today?

Namaste,

Karen

August Break: Aug 3rd

Day 3 of Susannah Conway's August Break.



This is a picture of a page I did today as part of an small canvas art journal round robin... enjoy the day and may you find some time to create.

August Break with Susannah Conway

I am participating in August Break with Susannah Conway.

You post a picture a day throughout the month of August, with or without words. No rules.

Today I was feeling a bit down so I went next door at work to a no kill shelter and had some play time through the window with the kitties. Here is my fav, I just call him orange guy since I don't know his name.. Actually I don't even know if he is a HE.

Enjoy your day!

Wishcast Wed: How do you wish to nourish yourself?

Click on Pic for a larger view

Hi my fellow wishers and dreamers, I hope this day finds you well. Today over at Jamie Ridler's Studio the wish prompt is: "How do you wish to nourish yourself? This is the same list I had for the prompt "What do you wish to nourish" so I though it would apply here also. The picture above is a dream board I did which was all about coming home to my body, feeling safe there. In order to to that I think nourishing it more would be a good way to start

Here is a list of some ways I am committed to nourishing myself, mind, body and spirit. My well has almost run dry so I need to replenish so I can continue to nourish myself and others.
Ok here goes:

1. Spend more time outside in nature, when I do I always feel so much better.
2. Spend less time with distractions like mindlessly eating, surfing the TV and the Internet.
3. Spend some time planning for healthy eating so I have better choices available.
4. Move more, be it walking, dancing, jumping, skipping...move at least 20 min. a day.
5. Spend some time journalling each day even if it is 5 min.
6. Set up creative space so it is there waiting for me.
7. Spend time in creative/sacred space: Start small a few minutes a day until it becomes a habit. This can be art work, taking pictures, drumming, poetry, cooking, singing. Anything that gets the creative juices flowing. PLAYING.
8. Research ways I can get involved with community, so when I am ready I have a plan.
9. Spend less time in anxiety and fear, truly give living in the moment a chance.
10. To fully be there for my husband, friends and family in the best way I can without compromising self.

Most of all I want to nourish the belief in myself, my worthiness, my beauty, my gifts that only I have. To really listen for the right things for me to say YES to and being ok saying NO to the things that are no longer right for me.So my friends, what are you nourishing today?

Namaste,Karen

Wishcast Wed: What do you wish to envision?

Image: Google Images

Hello fellow wishers, today over at Jamie Ridler's Studio the wish prompt is: What do you wish to envision?

What I would like to envision for myself is a life that looks like this:

Wake up and feel refreshed and ready to start the day.

Finding work that makes me feel like I am not actually working.

Spending time in creative space daily, nurturing my creative side.

Really connecting with the people in my life.

Loving my spouse and myself without expectations.

Searching for, allowing and embracing joy in my life.

Being ok with what is and not rushing into the next thing, actually being in the now.

Finding like minded people to be in community with to give support and be supported.

Filling my mind/body/spirit with the things that will nourish them and getting rid of the junk, be it food, thoughts, actions.

Spending some time each day meditating, slowing down a bit.

Let go of the past, learn from it but then move forward.

Having faith and trust in where I am and where I am headed.

Now if I could only get out of my own way, maybe this list can become a reality! ;-)

So what are you envisioning for yourself today?

Namaste,

Karen

Wishcast Wednesday: What do you wish to focus on?

Image: Google Images

Hi All,

I am a day late to wishcasting this week..why you ask?... because I have lost my FOCUS. So it is no wonder that the wishprompt over at Jamie Ridler's Studio this week is: What do you wish to focus on?

Well It seems like I have lost my focus somewhere in the emotional whirlwind that has been my mind lately. I really have lost it and I am trying to find it again.

I guess I would like to focus on me and finding myself, she is somewhere within this mess. I have a habit of getting so lost in others and their needs that I truly don't know what the heck it is that I want anymore, where do they end and I begin.

So I guess this week I can only say that I am trying to focus on finding that line between myself and others and building some structure around those relationships so I don't lose myself again.

I wish all your wishes come true and although I have not been able to find the energy to post much I am always wishing along with you and for you.

Namaste friends,

Karen

Wednesday Wishcast: What do you wish for your relationships?

Image: Google Images


Shared joy is a double joy; shared sorrow is half a sorrow. ~Swedish Proverb

Hi My fellow wishers and dreamers. Today over at Jamie Ridler's Studio the wish prompt is:

"What do you wish for your relationships?"

As always Jamie seems to ask the the right question at just the right time.

I have been quite on the blogosphere and my e-courses lately due to some relationship issues my husband and I are working on. It really has taken much of my mental space lately and I have not had the energy for much else other than working and such, it has left me feeling a bit wrung out. I feel hopeful after my husband and I talked and I am hoping to get back into participating here more fully but please know that I have been reading your wishes and wishing for you.

I think what I learned most through this experience is that relationships need nuturing just like anything else and at times we have to tend to ourselves first and not get lost within the relationship. This way we keep our wells fill so we can than give to others.

As my husband and I have been talking about what we both would like from the relationship this particular question has been on my mind lately.
So... what I wish for my relationships are listed below. These are things that I think help nuture and grow relationships:


Love
Compassion
Forgiveness
Kindness
Trust
Laughter/joy/play
Respect
Understanding
Space to be yourself within the relationship
Acceptance
Patience
Sharing
Comfort
Partnership

I hope everyone is enjoying their summer we have been dealing with 100 degree temps these last couple of days and I feel like I am melting but happy to be present in each moment.

Namaste and keep dreaming,


Karen

Wednesday Wishcast - What do you wish for your well-being?

Image: Gaian Tarot

Hello my fellow wishers and dreamers. Today over at Jamie Ridler's Studio the wish prompt is: "What do you wish for your well being?"

I wish the following for my well being:

Love for myself and others with as little conditions as possible (hey I AM human!) ;-)

Peace in my mind, heart and soul

Forgiveness towards myself and others

Strength to live my life fully

Faith that things are happening as they should and my path is true

Trust that I am making the right choices for ME especially in healing matters

Patience when I feel stuck

Belief that I am worth it!

May we all have these for ourselves.

Namaste my fellow dreamers,

Karen

Wishcast Wednesday: What fun do you wish to have?

Hi my fellow wishers and dreamers. Today over at Jamie Ridler's Studios the wish prompt is "What fun do you wish to have?"

Well this one is easy: I WANT TO HAVE FUN WITH MY LIFE, I want to let go of anxiety and other things that prevent myself from fully embracing fun..

I want to sing, I want to dance, I want to paint, I want to smile big and wide as much as I can.

I want to live, love and laugh trusting that things will be ok, I want to LET GO and sink into my life. In order to experience the fun I have to experience it all, the good the bad the ugly. I have to start creating balance in my life, right now the fun meter is low and that is no way to live.

I want to have fun with my husband like we did when we first met, when the worries were less and the days seemed longer. Where we would sit in the car and wait out a good song instead of shutting it off mid stream to rush into the house. Time was different then or so it seemed, slower. Fun with my friends, now it seems we barely make time for each other, I tell you without girlfriend time life can get too serious.

I need to follow my dog Bella's lead: eat, drink, sleep, love and PLAY!

Ok my fellow dreamers what do you wish to have fun with today.

Namaste

Namaste,
Karen

Wishcast Wednesday: What do you wish to nourish?

Image: Google Images

Hi my fellow wishers and dreamers, I hope this day finds you well.
Today over at Jamie Ridler's Studio the wish prompt is: "What do you wish to nourish?"

Wow nourish, this is something I have not done for a long time for myself, I often find myself doing it for others but not myself.

Here is a list of some ways I am committed to nourishing myself, mind, body and spirit. My well has almost run dry so I need to replenish so I can continue to nourish myself and others. Ok here goes:

1. Spend more time outside in nature, when I do I always feel so much better.
2. Spend less time with distractions like mindlessly eating, surfing the TV and the Internet.
3. Spend some time planning for healthy eating so I have better choices available.
4. Move more, be it walking, dancing, jumping, skipping...move at least 20 min. a day.
5. Spend some time journalling each day even if it is 5 min.
6. Set up creative space so it is there waiting for me.
7. Spend time in creative/sacred space: Start small a few minutes a day until it becomes a habit. This can be art work, taking pictures, drumming, poetry, cooking, singing. Anything that gets the creative juices flowing. PLAYING.
8. Research ways I can get involved with community, so when I am ready I have a plan.
9. Spend less time in anxiety and fear, truly give living in the moment a chance.
10. To fully be there for my husband, friends and family in the best way I can without compromising self.

Most of all I want to nourish the belief in myself, my worthiness, my beauty, my gifts that only I have. To really listen for the right things for me to say YES to and being ok saying NO to the things that are no longer right for me.

So my friends, what are you nourishing today?

Namaste,
Karen

Wishcast Wednesday: What leap do you wish to take?

Image: Google Images

Good morning my fellow wishers and dreamers. Today over at Jamie Ridler's Studio the wish prompt is: What leap do you wish to take?

I wish to leap over this divide I have been at the edge of. The divide between my past and my present/future. I have been stuck with my toes hanging over the edge for some time, knowing the past is over and I have learned what I need to yet fearing the unknown of the present/future. It really is about learning to live in the moment I know that logically but it is my monkey mind I need to get around.

So I wish to close my eyes and have faith and trust and leap into the present, one I have prepared for the best I can and one that is waiting for me with open arms on the other side.

It is always that first step or jump over that is the hardest to take, after that the rest will follow.

I wanted to say I have not had time to comment on everyone's wishes the last couple of weeks due to projects but I am reading them and wishing with you that your wishes come true.

Have a wonderful day wishcasters.

Namaste,
Karen

Wishcast Wednesday: What do you wish to know?

Good day my fellow wishers and dreamers. Today over at Jamie Ridler's Studio the wish prompt is: "What do you wish to know?"

What I wish to know is that I will come out of this funk I seem to have been in for the last few years. I feel like I have been in some holding pattern for awhile and I am filled with anxiety and agitation about it. I feel like I am on pause waiting for the play button to be pushed.

A few years ago there were many deaths in my family,2 favorite Aunts, my Dad and my Father in Law, all with different cancers. I was involved in caretaking with most of them, I think it took something out of me and I am trying to find the missing piece of myself. You almost have to go on auto pilot to experience that kind of a situation, I mean when you are watching a loved one slowly die it does something to you.

I was actually present at 2 of the death moments and they were not new agey fluffy bunnies white light moments, atually they were quite raw, I am sorry to say. Now that may have been my fear not allowing me to see the beauty or peace of it, but I know they were both ready to go and for that we were relieved and prayed for it.

Anyway...before that I had always been the one people went to, the shoulder to lean on and it was like that with my relationship with my parents also. I always felt more like I was the together one and tried to make peace and keep drama at bay.
Then throw in my husband of 15 years doubting his love for me, he loves me but does not know if he is "in love" with me, well let's just say it has been a rough couple of years emotionally.

I think those years with the deaths did something to me and couple that with some childhood traumas and I feel wrung out.

Now when people want to talk to me or someone is ill, I go into distraction mode, I can't connect to my empathy and compassion because It hurts too much. I want to know that I will be able to find that connection to myself and others again.

I want to know that I just need to make the decision to hit the play button of my life and I will move again and live again. I long to feel joy again, I have no problem feeling fear and anxiety, those live right under the surface and are always willing to come out.

I WANT TO KNOW that I will connect to the joy and love my life once was. I put a picture of my puppy Bella today because she makes me sense the joy is there waiting, just look at that smiley face.

Thanks for listening, I feel like this post is a little rambly and disjointed but it is what it is.

What are you wishing to know today my fellow dreamers.

Namaste,
KAren